My new favourite dating show is a crash course in car crash television. It is Channel 5’s latest offering; Make Or Break. This show is so bad, that is actually amazing. It was clearly devised so quickly to fill the cavernous cavity left by Love Island; a show I feel blessed to have missed.
The producers at Channel 5 must have sent out a brief that was something like the following; ARE YOU DATING SOMEONE WHO EMOTIONALLY ABUSES YOU CONSTANTLY? IF SO, WE’LL BUY YOU A FREE HOLIDAY TO MEXICO SO WE CAN HUMILIATE YOU.
It’s full of the same fame hungry people that just want to boost their Twitter followers. There’s the typical fare of regional accents; Essex, Geordies and the like, plus some token posh people. Two people, who are clearly the laughing stock of their professions, which includes sex therapy and behavioural psychology. I’ve forgotten their names.
It’s the type of colour coded couple show that makes you happy to be single, or if you’re loved up, it makes you so grateful that you’re not dating such a big twat as these people. Because one of the many dating rules I subscribe to is never dating someone who has appeared on Channel 5.
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have officially divorced. They proved obviously that abiding by the dating rules will keep a celebrity marriage alive. They settled their divorce in the state of New York due to Katie knowing she could get full and sole custody of their five year old daughter Suri Cruise.
When Tom Kat first started dating back in 2005, they were very over the top with their affection for one another. Tom proclaimed his undying love for Katie leaping over sofas during a taping of the Oprah Winfrey Show. He ticked all the cliché boxes and proposed to Katie at the Eiffel Tower in Paris, the city of love and light.
However this proves that following all these dating conventions will not guarantee a successful and happy marriage. Love is not something that can be put down to a formula. Couples that appear to be destined forever are capable of being ripped apart at the seams. True love is a dying art. It is something we need to be able to hold on to. Otherwise I would be out of a job. We would not want that. That would be a horrible thing for the dating blogging scene.
It is a week of good news for the guidos and guidettes of the world. Another one is on the way! Star of MTV’s hit reality television programme Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and her boyfriend Jionni LaValle are expecting and engaged! Rumours have flown about the pair upgrading their relationship from dating to full commitment but this week it has been confirmed!
The couple did not plan the pregnancy but were over the moon and took five tests just to make sure. They did not announce it earlier due to the potential risks previous to the first trimester.
The pair are divided on dating rules for the child. Father LaValle will not be permitting any relationships until 18 but more liberal Snooki says that she started dating at age 13.
Snooki has vowed off the drinking and partying behaviour. She has confirmed she will not be resuming her role on Jersey Shore. This will disappoint fans but this will be better for her unborn baby. She claims to have straightened up her act and will not be returning to her prior conduct. For example in August 2010, she was arrested on the Jersey Shore and it was broadcast on MTV.