Prince Andrew secretly dating Kylie Minogue!

Oh my days, I literally just found out about this, and I’m HORRIFIED! Queen Kylie, may she reign forever is rumored to be dating none other than Prince Andrew. Prince Andrew? Wouldn’t you rather be dating a tempura eel, love? Ew, how disgusting. I mean, at least with tempura eel, you can eat it. Eating Prince Andrew would be both horrible and illegal. I just cannot be dealing with the images in my head.

 

Prince Andrew

 

Gross Old Men

This just advances any and all theories about gross old men getting to go out with cute ladies. Kylie is so darling and he is so gross. Urgh, he is just THE WORST! I cannot cope with this horrifying dating news. I just cannot. It’s too much. No, I’m a good person and I didn’t need this news to land in my inbox. Why, oh why? This job is taking its toll. Help me. I’m sorry I had to darken your day with it, I just needed to get it out.

 

Kylie Minogue

 

I wonder what the Queen thinks… I cannot imagine she’s so excited to have the the princess of pop as a potential real life princess? She could barely handle Kate, whose father had a £90,000 school fee bill per year.

Daphne X

 

 

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