Daphne’s Top Dating Tips


Dating Dos


  • Do show up

  • Do be on time

  • Do Be polite

  • Do be a human being

  • Do offer to pay

  • Do speak about how much you love beer

  • Do remember your dogs aren’t going to be dating each other

  • Do remember what she said

  • Do tell her she’s insane if she likes David Icke, the BNP or the Daily Mail

  • Do just eat your own food






Dating Don’ts


  • Don’t speak over

  • Don’t talk about how your fulfilling the dating dos

  • Don’t do a runner, if in a restaurant

  • Don’t offer to pay

  • Don’t say how bad you are at dating

  • Don’t say how good you are at dating

  • Don’t cry

  • Don’t repeat yourself

  • Don’t say you hate your mum

  • Don’t mention how much of a crazy lady/guy your ex is

  • Don’t touch in the first five seconds

  • Don’t pinch her

  • Don’t challenge anyone to a running race

  • Don’t invite out on a second date if you’re not going to attend

  • Don’t tell her shes insane

  • Don’t order spaghetti, and insist on reenacting the Lady and Tramp scene


Daphne X



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