10 Couples of 2012

2012 has sadly come to a close and to celebrate the world, not, here is 10 celebrity couples and my opinions on them!

 

1.Taylor Swift and whoever her boyfriend is at the moment – THIS GIRL CAN DO NO WRONG FOR ME! And for real, this girl goes through them like nobody’s business. Don’t get me wrong. This is by no means a cuss. Tay Tay Swizzle is allowed to bang as many fit blokes she is allowed to. Highlights include Jake Gyllenhaal (MAJOR RATIINGS FOR THAT ONE, TAY), Connor Kennedy (nice bit of political involvement there, darling) and Harry Styles off of One Direction (AGAIN SNAPS FOR TAYLAA). May the epic tunes come plentiful from 2013 relationships… Love you long time

 

Taylor Swift

 

2. Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber – these two are know over. I used to find Selena Gomez highly irritating but then I saw the Oscar worthy movie Monte Carlo (costarring my favourite Gossip Girl Leighton “Blair Waldorf” Meester) and came around her (partly because if I ever became mates with LM I had to jam with SG) so I was glad when I heard this duo was headed to Splitsville. It means when we do hang out I won’t have to hold my tounge when he comes round about how bad his music is. Although on the other side of the argument that could have been quite funny….

 

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber

 

3. Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield – I LOVE EMMA STONE! She ought to have own a load more Oscars for her performance in Easy A. IT IS COMEDY GENIUS WITH A TAD OF JOHN HUGHES CHARM! However to be totally honest I have not got round to seeing the new Spiderman film (I don’t care or know what it is actually called) and I am not feeling her blonde. She needs to represent for her ginger folk and wear her flame coloured mane with pride. Emma, are you reading this? Take note… Ta.

 

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield

 

4. Lea Michele and Cory Monteith – this couple is cuteness wrapped up in a blanket. I love them on Glee (AMERICANS, I HAVE NOT SEEN ANY OF SEASON FOUR SO SHHH IF IT HAS ALL GONE TITS UP) Can they just have a load of babies and get married LIKE NOW? Sorry to be stalker fan girl but CMOOOON. THEY COULD BE THE FIRST BROADWAY FAMILY! IMAGINE LIKKLE LEAS BELTING OUT BARBRA STREISAND INSTEAD OF NURSERY RHYMES? I shot gun being their nanny, for real.

 

Lea Michele and Cory Monteith

 

5. Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher – LOL LIKE WE DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING! That 70s Show is the most underrated shit show I’ve ever seen… bring back the glory noughties’ days…

 

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher

 

6. Michelle and Barack Obama – I still think she should be the one who is president. She came to the UK and made all these inspirational speeches to the girls of some state school that they too go to Cambridge. WHAT A DWOLLL.

 

Michelle and Barack Obama

 

7. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds – THIS IS THE PRETTIEST COUPLE AND THEY BOTH HAVE MASTERED THE PERFUME AD. How sexy are their voices in their respective fragrance commercials? Blake has very husky tones that compliment the ad. Ryan is just beautiful in both a white and black shirt. No complaints there… for both parties involved.

 

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds

 

8. Chuck and Blair off of Gossip Girl – RIGHT THERE ARE NOT REAL BUT THEY ARE REAL TO ME! OH MY DAYS, in the LAST EPISODE EVER of GG they got married (yeah so did Dan and Serena but who gives a flying fuck to me) and THEN PROCEEDED IMMEDITATELY TO GET ARRESTED. 6 seasons was a wait proved to be worthwhile on Wednesday. IT WAS SO ROMANTIC! They also had the cutest kid I’ve seen for a very long time. WHERE DID THEY FIND THAT KID? HE LOOKED SO MUCH LIKE THE KID LEIGHTON MEESTER AND ED WESTWICK WOULD ACTUALY MAKE IF THEY BLESSED THE WORLD WITH A CHILD? Don’t get arsy with me if I ruined the end for you. You should have watched it by now.

 

Chuck and Blair

 

9. Dan and Serena off of Gossip Girl – Again not real I know but they did have a long off and on relationship for five years too. They deserve a mention, however frustrating they may be. They also tend to be the most boring and kind of committed many crimes of incest. They dated in high school while their parents were married… EWWW! Anyway they too tied the knot…. Anyway not as sexy as B and C. Not in a million years…

 

Dan and Serena

 

10. You and your other half – You just read this garbage, so you should get a mention. You are well cute too (JUST NOT LIKE CHUCK & BLAIR AND LEA & COREY, but no one is… don’t feel blue) Soz if you don’t have one, because you are butterz or you just got out of a relationship… anyway you are on the right website. THIS IS A DATING ONE. You should just go for it. what have you go to lose? YOLO, you know.

 

Daphne X

 

My Top Ten “I Really Don’t Care What You Say” Songs

1. I Used To Love Him by Lauryn Hill – Nice bit of 90s feel good rap. A rare gem for a female rapper, which is unfortunate.

 

Lauryn Hill

 

2.  Survivor by Destiny’s Child – This song needs to win an award for the female empowerment anthem. We should all rally under this song and recite the lyrics to anyone who does us wrong. For real.

 

Destinys Child

 

3. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift – Not as good as her previous work but Taylor Swift works her magic once again and is really insistent of never getting back together with her ex. Let’s hope the sentiment in the song lasts.

 

Taylor Swift

 

4. Easy Please Me by Katy B – She tells it like it is however I really can’t imagine anyone actually saying this to an unsuspecting bloke in a bar. It would be really funny though. It would get Tweeted about. We’d all hear about it if it happened in your circle of mates.

 

Katy B

 

5. Knock ‘Em Out by Lily Allen – Please someone tell me she is coming out with a third album? That would make me so happy. This song is a tale of getting that creepy man in the pub to kindly and promptly sod off and leave you alone. No mean task it seems.

 

Lily Allen

 

6. Irreplaceable by Beyoncé – This song will lift your mood always. I guarantee it. Bey is a empowerment wizard.

 

Irreplaceable by Beyoncé

 

7. You Need Me, I Don’t Need You by Ed Sheeran – The first song not to focus on love and relationships but it does have a nice FUCK YOU message and could possibly be seen as one, depends how you are feeling. They are always appreciated.

 

Ed Sheeran

 

8. Best Thing You Never Had by Beyoncé – Does the fact that this is the third Beyoncé entry into this chart not prove to you she is a genius? Well you’re a plank if you have not cottoned on yet. This song has the same emotion boosting powers as the others.

 

Best Thing You Never Had by Beyoncé

 

9. Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri – However I prefer the Lea Michele version, she is my favourite actress at the moment.

 

Christina Perri

 

10. A New England by Billy Bragg – Listen to the lyrics, he is musically burning you and calling you a slag. You are officially cussed. Get used to it, bruv.

 

Billy Bragg

 

Daphne X

 

My Top Ten Girl Crushes

1. Lea Michele – she is my favourite actress at the moment. I also have a big crush on her boyfriend Cory Montieth. I’m elated they are together on and off screen. I want her singing voice as well. Can I please just be her?

 

Lea Michele

 

2. Blake Lively – Oh my days if I have to explain this one to you then you are foolish and should be not allowed to live. Point blank. For real.

 

Blake Lively

 

3. Leighton Meester – She gets to play Blair Waldorf and pretend to bang Chuck Bass. Oh my days yes please!

 

Leighton Meester

 

4. Taylor Swift – she is so tall, graceful and eloquent. Plus her little black book is pretty extensive and laid out in four beautiful albums. Want her for my BFF so bad.

 

Taylor Swift

 

5. Sofia Vergara – Oh my days she is so funny and actually curvy (not like how Colleen Rooney is). Everyone should watch Modern Family.

 

Sofia Vergara

 

6. Kate Moss – Edgy as fuck. Queen of British fashion and all round London IT girl.

 

Kate Moss

 

7. Millie MacKintosh of Made In Chelsea – She is very effortlessly chic in a way that you just know was not very effortless. She makes an obvious five hour to do, professionally styled and airbrushed look appear like she rolled out of bed naturally looking.

 

Millie MacKintosh

 

8. Emma Stone – Easy A is one of the funniest and best films of this decade (it may be young but SHHHH) and she is downright hilarious.

 

Emma Stone

 

9. Lana Del Rey – Love her so much. She may be highly irritating but isn’t she so annoyingly cool?

 

Lana Del Rey

 

10. Mila Kunis – Do I need to say more?

 

Mila Kunis

 

Daphne X

 

Ten Rom-Coms that do my head in

1. The Holiday – Right someone needs to memo the writers of this film that British women are not all nampy pampies and have a Jude Law type as their brother/next door neighbour. I like to think American women aren’t like Cameron Diaz’s character either. This film equals rage. The only redeemable part is Jack Black’s boob graze. And it is even more maddening that on the ITV2 cut they remove that bit. Oh my days I was frothing.

 

Cameron Diaz and Jude Law

 

2. Killers – I bet you’ve not heard of this, if you haven’t you are so lucky.  It’s a jarring tale of Katherine “Whatstherfacefromeveryothernaffromcom” Heigl and her husband, who much to her surprise is a secret assassin. You know because people do that in real life. Turns out their whole neighbourhood are professional murderers as well. I was baffled.

 

Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher

 

3. 27 Dresses – Katherine Heigl ruined my Saturday night with this bomb as well. It was predictable and stupid. Her sister bagged her crush, KH’s boss who had no redeemable qualities and an abnormally deep voice.

 

Katherine Heigl

 

4. Friends with Kids – OH MY DAYS THIS WAS THE WORST FILM I’VE EVER SEEN! It lures you in with pretenses that is good because it written and starring the same cast that did Bridesmaids but it is the most unbelievable plot/set of characters I’ve ever had the misfortune of viewing. Again it presents women as being wimps who pine after men. WHO IS WILLING TO HAVE A CHILD WITH THEIR MATE? ER NO ONE. Too many problems to go into detail but this film was dire.

 

Friends with Kids

 

5. Plan B – it had J-lo in it. Need I go on?

 

J Lo

 

6. When In Rome – I don’t even remember what happens in this film. Something to do with Kirsten Bell, who I think worked at some pretentious art gallery in New York and Josh Duhamel was trying to tap that shit. Don’t ruin your eyes.

 

When in Rome

 

7. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants – I don’t want trousers that travel and it is too sappy for words and not in a good Glee sorta way. It’s a shame because it has Blake Lively in it and she is reem.

 

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

 

8. Date Night – this film made no sense. Fey, please stick to sitcoms and go back to your Mean Girls roots. That film is supreme. I can quote it all practically. Yes I am proud of that.

 

Date Night

 

9. No Strings Attached – ANOTHER FILM THAT WAS UNPLAISABLE AND RIDICILOUS AND NOT IN A NICE WAY. SOME ROM COMS ARE BEARABLE. It’s competition Friends With Benefits is way better. Mila Kunis is way cooler than Natalie Portman. Nat, stick to ballet dancing.

 

No Strings Attached

 

10. Something Borrowed – Couldn’t finish it. I was too cringe. Kate Hudson is in the same category of Katherine Heigl (although one of my favourite films is Raising Helen. That film is emotional)

 

Something Borrowed

 

Daphne X