Blind Date is back!

  Blind Date is back! It’s showing on Saturday nights on Channel Five. As the previous host, Ms Cilla Black, is now dead, they’ve got her rumoured pal Paul O’Grady to do the honours. The classic dating show has been revived for the masses.         To be … [Read more...]

Disney Princes I would not go dating with

The Geezer from Snow White (Snow White) - First of all, this dickhead has no name. That would be the definition of aggro. Additionally, any bloke that goes about kissing dead girls is a freak. He needs to be locked up and not shown to small children. Also, on a kinda unrelated note, Snow White is a … [Read more...]

Lisa Rinna is the Queen of Dating

Lisa Rinna is a modern icon. She is the Mona Lisa. Her lips, her eyes and her crazy conduct. She is the queen of dating too. I mean, HAVE YOU SEEN HER HUSBAND? She’s been married to Harry Hamlin, an actor, who was once voted People Magazine’s Sexist Man Alive. This may not be true, but I think they … [Read more...]

Who is Emma Stone dating?

Recently, and when I say recently, I mean about 20 minutes ago, before I ate my tea, I read an article about Emma Stone dating either her ex flame Andrew Garfield or Jake Gyllenhaal. This is prosperous.     Best of Friends Right, my in-depth research about Taylor Swift … [Read more...]

Daphne’s dating checklist for lost and confused men

Here is a comprehensive list of things you must do if you find yourself taking me, or any like-minded lady on a date. These are not optional. They are an essential part of dating me.   New and improved checklist   A brain - this is actually pretty useful for life in general, not … [Read more...]

What is going on?

I don’t know if its just me, but there really seems to be a lack of dramatic dating stories from A list celebrities. A list celebrities seem to throwing shade at each other’s ex boyfriends and girlfriends. I just miss the old days of salty past lovers. Like Kris Whats His Name, who was married to … [Read more...]

50 shades of lame

The other day, I was forced to watch Fifty Shades of Grey. It was awful. I hated every second of it. I hated myself for watching it. I hated myself for thinking Jamie Dornan was good looking. Quick Q, why does Jamie Dornan always play serial sexual violence offenders? He plays one really well in the … [Read more...]

Kim K has disappeared

Alright, maybe she hasn’t. Maybe she is just recovering from the brutal attack on her security and wealth at Paris Fashion Week. As you will all know, Mrs Kardashian West was held up at gun point and robbed in her hotel room. This shocked a considerable amount of folk; fans, her haters and mostly my … [Read more...]

Kimmy Kardashian back at it again

Kim Kardashian West, as any dedicated viewer of her excellent reality television programme will tell you, is a proud Armenian. Her father’s family descended from wealthy Armenian refugees. On one episode, they visited their motherland and, I shit you not, got an arrival worthy of the Messiah that … [Read more...]

Seinfeld has the worst dating advice

Of all the TV shows I watch, I’ve come to the conclusion that Seinfeld has the worst dating advice. The four main characters; Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer, constantly spend so much time whinging about their partners. They expect perfection and will never get it. I know this because no one will … [Read more...]