Rumours are circulating around London’s trendy dating scene that Cara Delevingne and St Vincent are back together. The couple were dating a wee bit ago. They broke up and then, it seems they are consumed by their love once more. This is exciting news for all concerned.
Cara Delevingne, if you have been living under a rock for the past five years or so, is a supermodel extraordinaire! She’s the posh version of Kate Moss. Quick side note, do you think Mossy really thinks she’s an over privileged twerp? However, the rules of fashion dictate that you shan’t let your opinion be heard, if it does not go with the flow. Fashion is all about the flow. St Vincent, real name Annie Clark, is a singer songwriter. I have only heard one of her songs. It was good. However, it hit my radar because they were dating.
Personally, this news is meaningless to me. I care very little for either of them. I have no vested interest in either of them. However, fun Cara fact time, her godmother is Joan Collins. I am very jealous about that. She would be fabulous as a godparent. I’m so unbelievably envious.
If I could choose any celebrity pair to go dating, it would be a something very left field. I’ve not made up my mind, just yet. However, this dating pondering will rack my brains for evermore. A popular, yet underrated, in a fantasy “if neither had a partner already” world, I’d most likely go for Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. They’re a modern day Astaire and Rodgers, and if you utter philistines don’t know who they are, please go check yourself before you watch all their movies. The best one is Top Hat.
Emma and Ryan have starred in many films together. Their most recent flick was La La Land, a film all about dating and Los Angeles, a place I’ve never been. They’ve also acted together in other films such as Crazy Stupid Love, a film I found so BORING. I watched about ten minutes, then promptly decided to turn it off.
I would also pick Selena Gomez and Justin Timberlake to get back together. HOWEVER, as we all know, that’s not going to happen in the next million years. She’s been dating the Weeknd for a few months now. They’re all loved up over on Instagram, the modern answer to a love letter.
I’m sending out an APB for one Ms Taylor Allison Swift. WHERE HAS SHE GONE? Okay, as per, I’m being a tad dramatic. She recently announced a whole bunch of crap that I couldn’t give a crap about. HOWEVER, there has been nothing on the music front. There has been no glimpses into her dating life.
Right, I know we shouldn’t speculate. She has the right to do what she wants, with whomever she wants, as long as it is consensual (I don’t need to be getting a reputation for someone who condones unwarranted dating and sexual abuse). I’m not riding her for her amount of boyfriends, or her current lack thereof, but I need some spicy dating news. And with Taylor, that is a guarantee.
- Apart from that big ol’ dating mess that was Hiddleswift. Tom Hiddleston, in my uneducated, yet not very humble opinion, is a overrated chump. He’s just another posh boy.
Swifty is a creative genius and this pile of gubbins won’t BRING HER DOWN. It was also completely for publicity. SOZ TAYLOR, JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU DOESN’T MEAN I WON’T CALL YOU OUT ON YOUR SHIT! Sometimes, we have to do that for the people we love….
Judging by pictures that recently circulated the internet, Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian are no longer dating. Scott was pictured getting close with a leggy model, in what looked like Las Vegas or some other trashy location. However, I was too shocked to remember where it was. WHY SCOTT WHY? YOU WILL NEVER DO BETTER THAN DATING KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN. She is so fire, you’ll only find garbage when you place them in comparison.
There has been no comment from the Kardashian camp, however, Kourt has shown some salty behaviour with a couple of Instagram posts. IS THERE ANY OTHER WAY A KARDASHIAN GETS A POINT OUT? Apart from their stupid apps of course. Why anyone would part with their money to have access to their lives. Their lives are everywhere, not a product I feel the need to buy as it’s constantly being given away for free.
However, will K go back to dating our favourite hot mess of a human being, Justin Bieber? That must have been her midlife crisis. Seriously, he is as thick as a plank. Our girl Kourt has been to college and has a degree god dammit. Only time will tell, innit?
Selena Gomez is dating the Weeknd. The pair have been spotted all over the world, all over various social media platforms; Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, looking cute as fuck.
However, I have one problem, that Google could sort out for me, but why does he spell his name that way? To be totally honest, that’s a big reason why I’ve never listened to any of his music. It’s all so baffling. Lopping off the e is not optional! It’s a vital part of the word. However, I may be a little old fashioned, and I’m okay with it. It’s fine, and I’ve learnt to accept myself.
Secretly, well not so secretly, I hope this is not the end of the saga that is Jelena. Jelena is a fairytale for the modern age, if you swap pumpkin carriages for cheeky Insta posts. Perhaps, I’m feeling a wee bit nostalgic for the old days of celebrity dating history. THEY WERE SO CUTE! He was this little hot mess and she was this raven haired, intelligent beauty, so far out of his league that is was far beyond all levels of ridiculous behaviour. It may be better for both of them to be apart, BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?
Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian are so totally an item, and perhaps, never even broke up! Kris Jenner is a minx and would conjure up that story line to break all our reality television addict minds. She’s a witch, with cunning like no other. Plus, it was lagging behind and we needed to humanise Kourt a bit.
Personally, I think she was the best Kardashian, but I never hold the majority opinion. They’ve been together forever. You just can’t break up with someone like Scott. His parents died, and then he went off the rails.
The rumours that she was shagging Justin Bieber was just KJ just fucking with us. She loves a little scandal, even if they’re not real and, espically if she can make a quick buck off them. She is a manipulative genius and I love her. She’s thoroughly mad and extreme, but boy does she produce excellent television. We should all worship at her feet. Without her, what we watch when we were hungover as fuck? David Attenborough? Nah, that’s too much colour for our dehydrated minds to cope with.
A rumour has been flying around the internet, because that’s really what the internet is; a sounding board for the bile that comes flooding out of our fingertips, that Drake and Taylor Swift are an item. While this very plausible on some level; they’re both young, hot and famous heterosexuals of the opposite sex. It’s not that mind-blowing. It’s just a part of life. However, I must admit, it’s probably just a troll.
What basis is there for this rumour? I suppose that’s not a question I’m going to ever get an answer from. It’s a stupid question. It’s dumb and it’s not going to be given a solution. Well, anyway, if they are dating, who cares?
Seriously, the longer I’ve been in the celebrity blogging business, I’ve just started to care less and less about them. They’re boring. They just chat shit and do a hundred dumb things a day, all while earning considerably more money than me. They are proof that fools might sometimes, annoyingly, win. It’s a hard truth to swallow. I can’t cope with this truth. It is one and it must die. However, it won’t. The moral is; let T-Swizze and Drizzy be.
Kanye West, after a very explosive concert, has been admitted to hospital. The reason cited to the general public was exhausted and sleep deprivation. This is, perhaps, in response to a fiery rant at one of his gigs. He went off on one at Beyonce and Jay-Z, and to top it off, announced, not only did he not vote, but if he had, it would have been for Trump. Or maybe it is all down to dating, now marriage with Kim Kardashian!
His reasons for his thought was that America will forever be racist and we just need to deal with it. Ermmm, what? Forgive my confusion, as I am a white girl, with no experience of racism, but huh? His fan base clearly felt betrayed. However, his mental health issues, which came to public surface, may have explained his rant.
Kanye is no stranger to a rant. He is forever going on TV and raving all about something or the other. Mainly, its about how he is the world’s greatest rock star, the world’s greatest artist or denouncing alleged rape victims. It’s pretty much normal. As a world, we’re pretty used to it. Maybe, it’s a symptom of something more serious and we should lay off, or he is a complete utter twat.
I haven’t heard any dating gossip about Prince Harry in the longest while. This is both filling me with relief and stress. I loathe the royals and everything they stand for; inherited positions, nepotism and state funded luxury.
The thing with Prince Harry is he is such a good source of tabloid gossip. He just exudes public intrigue and mystery. I think he may be the only ginger in this country that appears that way. The next most famous gingers that I can think of surely don’t. The ones that spring to mind are the bloke that plays Ron Weasley, the rest of the Weasley family and that bloke from the Great British Bake Off 2016, Andrew. Everyone in my house wanted Andrew to win that show.
Anyway, I care about him so little that I ain’t even gonna Google him. I just want my Prince Harry information to be so unavoidable, just slap bang in my face. To be honest, that’s how I find out most of my gossip. It just shit I hear whilst bopping about in the world. I don’t remember the last time I looked up the Kardashians. I actually have no recollection of ever doing that.
I’ve reached a certain point in my life, where the young celebrities of the moment are all younger than me. This is not okay. I’m not old. I’m not old, in the slightest manner. I can vote and the like, but I’m not a grandmother or anything. I’ve got a functioning body and I’ve never had to go to work for more than a summer.
But, there is this unsettling realisation that all these young hot things are all younger than me. There is Kylie Jenner, for example. She is, by far, the biggest and the shiniest personification of this problem. She is 19, goes dating with the hottest, owns various homes, a few flash cars and a make up line. However, one thing she has I’m the most jealous of, her dog pack. She has the cutest collection of doggies! I bet she doesn’t pick up their poo!
There’s also Bella and Gigi Hadid, Bella Thorn, and Zendaya, to name a few. However, raging about it is silly. I have no choice but to get older. However, I’m comforted by the fact, that they do too.