Dating Blog

William or Harry – who'd you rather go dating with?

William or Harry – who'd you rather go dating with?

April 20th, 2018

Now, forget that these two men are completely off the market (but let’s be real, their father had the worst kept secret affair of the latter half of the twentieth century), but would you rather have a dating experience with; Prince William or Prince Harry?     Yes, this question is a bit 2002, for my real liking, but it is always fun to pit the two royals against each other....

Meghan is dating Harry so get over it!

Meghan is dating Harry so get over it!

April 12th, 2018

For the love of god, can we stop, as a human race, a species if you will. Stop hurling ignorant, racist crap at Meghan Markle? Meghan Markle is top. The only thing that would suggest a bit of a head check is her decision to be dating, and now ENGAGED to a prince (a ginger prince none the less, but let’s not get hair colourist here).         That lady from ...

Daphne's Top Dating Tips

Daphne's Top Dating Tips

February 22nd, 2018

  Dating Dos   Do show up Do be on time Do Be polite Do be a human being Do offer to pay Do speak about how much you love beer Do remember your dogs aren’t going to be dating each other Do remember what she said Do tell her she’s insane if she likes David Icke, the BNP or the Daily Mail Do just eat your own food ...

How to tell if you are dating a scrub

How to tell if you are dating a scrub

February 10th, 2018

  Does the guy you are dating “THINK HE IS FLY?   Does the guy are you dating, “ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT WHAT HE WANTS, AND THEN SITS ON HIS BROKE ASS?”         If this is true, this is the beginning signs that he is potentially a scrub. However, it is not too late. Also there is a bigger list of qualifications for scrub-hood.   ...

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle engaged!

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle engaged!

January 23rd, 2018

Prince Harry is engaged, if you didn’t know. The only way you couldn’t know is that if you were living under a rock in the desert, after you died, a horrible tragic death.         Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have been dating, for some time now. I don’t know how long they have been dating. Who am I to judge?   I’m just happy that it has been the ...

Don't take dating advise from Stephen

Don't take dating advise from Stephen

December 31st, 2017

Men of the world, please do not be a Stephen. Who is Stephen you ask? Stephen is a person who appeared on my new favourite dating show; Make or Break. But that doesn’t really answer my original question. Stephen is one of recent reality televisions most manipulative, over emotional bam pots. He cried a lot in the first few episodes. Now, I hear you scream into your screens, “BUT AREN’T MEN ALLOWED...

Do Geordie couples argue more?

Do Geordie couples argue more?

December 19th, 2017

Do couples, who happen to be neighbours with the Angel of the North, spend more time yelling at each other than any other region? The evidence based from this report is carefully edited reality television shows. The first one to properly exhibit this dating necessity was on MTV’s Geordie Shore; the much too long running English spin off of Jersey Shore. Seriously, if it has not been cancelled yet,...

Would you date someone who cheated 30 times?

Would you date someone who cheated 30 times?

December 10th, 2017

This piece will be a continuation of my Make or Break series. In this edition, we will explore dating someone who has stuck his pecker in, at the very least, 30 women that are not you, while you were in mutual agreement to be in an exclusive relationship. This is the case with Elle and Andy. Andy, while dating Elle, has proved himself, well to me anyway, a potential sex addict.    ...

My new favourite dating show

My new favourite dating show

December 1st, 2017

My new favourite dating show is a crash course in car crash television. It is Channel 5’s latest offering; Make Or Break. This show is so bad, that is actually amazing. It was clearly devised so quickly to fill the cavernous cavity left by Love Island; a show I feel blessed to have missed.   Dating Humiliation   The producers at Channel 5 must have sent out a brief that was somet...

Top five songs about dating

Top five songs about dating

November 8th, 2017

*WARNING* this list is nearly exclusively show tunes and Broadway bangers. IT IS NOT MY FAULT. I AM AN OLD LADY, REALLY. I just occupy the body of a 22 year old. It is just my lot in life. *WARNING*   400 Lux by Lorde - a fine tune about teenage sweet mutterings. It’s not exactly clear if the situation described is about dating, however, ARTISTIC INTERPRETATION!!!!!!   &nbs...

Unorthodox ways to spend time dating

Unorthodox ways to spend time dating

October 25th, 2017

Have a picnic in a graveyard - This one is particularly weird for a first date option. It says that you’re ready to discuss the finite nature of living, however, it also declares you are a big fat weirdo. Dating may not be for you. Or it might! Who am I to judge. It’s just a word of warning, keep that in mind.     Go for a STI check up - It’s a bit forward. Howev...

Disney Princes I would go dating with

Disney Princes I would go dating with

October 3rd, 2017

Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid) - He is at the top of list for most. He might not, however, be the most gentleman like in a dating situation. He’s a bit blinded by the hunt for perfection. BUT HEY, HE HAS NICE EYES.         Hercules (Hercules) - okay, not technically a prince, but rather a demigod, but pendants are not welcome on this channel. OKAY? He...

Blind Date is back!

Blind Date is back!

August 12th, 2017

  Blind Date is back! It’s showing on Saturday nights on Channel Five. As the previous host, Ms Cilla Black, is now dead, they’ve got her rumoured pal Paul O’Grady to do the honours. The classic dating show has been revived for the masses.         To be honest, I’ve not watched it. I have no desire to watch it. I have vague memories from my childhood,...

Disney Princes I would not go dating with

Disney Princes I would not go dating with

August 6th, 2017

The Geezer from Snow White (Snow White) - First of all, this dickhead has no name. That would be the definition of aggro. Additionally, any bloke that goes about kissing dead girls is a freak. He needs to be locked up and not shown to small children. Also, on a kinda unrelated note, Snow White is a rubbish film. It’s scary and not funny and creepy. There are other iconic films to squander your...

Things You Don't Want Your Date To Do

Things You Don't Want Your Date To Do

August 4th, 2017

  Refuse to speak to you in a language you do not understand - Okay, okay, maybe this rule can be broken. However, mainly, stick to a dating dialect both parties are involved intimately with. It just not allowing for effective and efficient communication. Speaking is, really, so people can get messages across.         Eat an Onion and Garlic Sandw...

Lisa Rinna is the Queen of Dating

Lisa Rinna is the Queen of Dating

July 22nd, 2017

Lisa Rinna is a modern icon. She is the Mona Lisa. Her lips, her eyes and her crazy conduct. She is the queen of dating too. I mean, HAVE YOU SEEN HER HUSBAND? She’s been married to Harry Hamlin, an actor, who was once voted People Magazine’s Sexist Man Alive. This may not be true, but I think they said it on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.         A Mode...